The problem with “It’s okay, he’s friendly”
For many dog owners, the phrase “it’s okay, he’s friendly!” comes out naturally. Often, there’s no second thought about it. But this phrase is actually a huge topic of conversation within the canine community – especially among dog trainers and professionals. And it’s often followed by a loud sigh or feeling of dread.
What this phrase means to many is that your dog is comfortable around other dogs and only wants to play or sniff or some other regular dog duty. But what it fails to understand is how the other dog in the situation feels.
And it’s really about the safety and comfort of both dogs.
So, let’s get into why “it’s okay, he’s friendly” might not be the first response a fellow dog owner wants to hear when your dog gets up, close, and personal.
Not every dog wants social interaction
We’re all familiar with dogs that just haven’t been properly socialised… But even those who have more than enough experience around other dogs simply may not want to have their long-awaited walk interrupted.
Just because your dog wants to say hello, doesn’t mean the feeling is reciprocated. Equally, just because another dog isn’t unfriendly, doesn’t mean it is comfortable with the interaction.
In fact, there are plenty of instances where dogs simply aren’t comfortable – which can lead to some uncomfortable situations. For pup and owner.
Your friendly pup wanting to say hello can suddenly turn into a situation where the other dog in question can’t move on. Or, in many cases, just can’t get away from a friendly but excitable pup.
In these cases, the dog has no agency and no escape. Which, in turn, leads to a very stressed dog. Especially if the dog in question is a reactive dog.
The key thing is control
Now that we’ve touched on why this seemingly nonissue is actually quite a big one, we’ll talk about how this can be avoided.
The biggest thing to consider is control.
It’s probably no surprise to you that a vast amount of dog owners just don’t have control over their dogs. There’s often little thought involved when allowing their dog to run off and do its own thing – including saying hello to other dogs and strangers. And it’s something that we need to address and think about for our own pets whenever we take them out into the world.
Having control doesn’t mean hampering your dog’s ability to make new friends or enjoy themselves when out and about. But what it does mean is understanding your own dog’s boundaries (or lack of) and analyzing the situation.
For instance, when you’re out at the park, you should have signals and maneuvers for your dog that allow them to understand when it is and is not okay to say hello to another pooch. These can be whatever works for you and your best friend – hand gestures, leashing your dog, reinforcing good behaviour with treats… There are many ways you can approach this. But whatever you choose, they’re really important tools for both yourselves and others.
Because a dog that is out of control can be dangerous, even when they’re friendly.
And even something as simple as a “hello” can have a detrimental effect on some dogs, and you may not even realize it. Your pup certainly wouldn’t.
Every social situation is different
This advice isn’t to say that your pooch can’t have the social interactions that it desires. In fact, we still highly encourage dog owners to ensure that their companions are introduced to other dogs regularly. This can help build familiarity and trust in other dogs.
But you should always keep an eye on the situation first.
Check the body language of the dog’s owner. Someone clutching a lead as your dog comes near, steering your own dog away is likely going to be the best outcome for them. Often, these dogs are going through socialization training of their own. So, ignoring them could do wonders for the dog’s confidence around other dogs.
In a lot of cases, there’s also an option to talking to owners of the other dogs. This can be the best way to determine whether their pup is eager to meet yours. This isn’t always possible but should certainly be done if it is. As a dog person, you would likely ask permission to interact with another person’s dog. You should exercise the same caution with your own pup’s interactions.
And once you’ve got the go ahead, your pooch can socialize until their heart is content.
Of course, you should always ensure that your own dog can be recalled and controlled in any situation – even around other ‘friendly’ dogs. This avoids a lot of unfortunate situations later down the line.
So, next time you go to say “he’s friendly” – think twice
If you’re someone who allows your dog to wander freely and greet every dog and passer-by they see, then you have a think about what this can mean for the dogs in question and how you can help mitigate these problems.
We promise – owners whose dogs aren’t quite as sociable as yours will thank you for it. And you may just find that your pooch learns a thing or two as well.
If you’ve already undertaken the difficult task of controlling your very sociable pups, then keep up the good work!